10 months

Hankie is 10 months old, as of a few weeks ago. In my mind I had already written this post. I can even remember all that I wrote. So I am honestly not sure if I just dreamed it, or if I actually did and it somehow got erased.

Anywho. A few weeks ago my parents came to visit for the weekend. We had a great time, as always, and they were about to head out on a Monday afternoon and Blakely decided she wanted to go. After freaking her out by OVER communicating that MOMMY WON'T BE THERE! My mom told me I just needed to decide if I was going to let her go, and let that be the end of it. And she was right. So basically from the time Blakely brought it up, to the time they pulled out of my driveway was about 20 minutes. I'm not sure if this was better or worse for my momma emotions. She's spent a few nights away from me, but all were planned way in advance. A tear or two may or may not have been shed over her independence.

Of course she did fine and barely missed me. We were planning to go down to my parents anyway because Stephen was going out of town, so I moved my trip up a day and headed down only one day after she left. I must admit, having only Henry as a travel buddy is quite the treat. Unfortunately the church nursery struck again and both kiddos woke up Wednesday morning with runny noses and not feeling great. But that didn't hold Blakely back. She couldn't be slowed in hanging out with the chickens and cows and keeping herself busy with the wonderful world of Pawpaw and Gigi's house. Lucky for her, my mom is a trinket kind of person, so the things to play with there are endless. Inside and out. Yard ornaments, lawn gnomes, garage sale toys, gardening supplies, a family of ceramic ducks that live in the living room, firefighter toys, etc. she was busy and loving life. She asks to go visit pretty much daily. Not to mention my brave mom decided it was time for Blakely to be in a big girl bed. Of course she slept in it without a hitch. It sure didn't hurt that she got worn out and slept like a rock. Amazingly she hasn't asked to sleep in it here, and I'm glad. We'll switch her when we start traveling.

Hankie was another story. He also had a bad cold and couldn't breath. He, however, was not distracted by the shiny things at Pawpaw and Gigi's. He didn't sleep much, thus, neither did I. He also decided he was done nursing. I am sure the cold contributed, but he literally wouldn't nurse for 3 days. I didn't have a pump, so I'll spare you the details and just say I was suffering. Finally we got up to leave Friday morning and I got him formula and we haven't looked back. He really didn't have much trouble adjusting, especially once he got to feeling better. He still doesn't love to take the bottle from me though. After the battle over nursing I had with Blakely for so many months, I decided I was not going to do that with Henry. So once he didn't nurse for a few days, it was over and I felt great about it. I really think it was the right decision because he is all around eating much better than he was while he was still nursing.

He also doesn't drink the bottle like a normal kid. Of course. My kids are just not normal. :) he guzzles for as long as he can hold his breath, then aggressively shoves the bottle away to come up for air. Then grabs it and pulls it back in to chug some more. So he takes about 7 oz in 1-2 minutes. And he is showing no signs of figuring out how to just breath while he eats. It's so weird because he breathed while he nursed....

So anyway, he has been drinking formula for 2 weeks now. He is eating a lot better, but its still a stressful time. We are seeing an occupational therapist weekly, and she is really helpful. We will see her until we leave for Kaleo.

He weighs around 20lbs but I don't know how much exactly. He wears mostly 12 month clothes. Some 18month.

He goes to bed around 7 thanks to daylight savings. Now that he isn't nursing, Stephen can put him to bed. He is so easy to get to sleep. Staying asleep is the tricky part. He doesn't search for his binky like Blakely did. Maybe cause we kept 5 in her bed and he has one. Blakely would wake up and scrape her arms all over the bed until she could find several. Henry won't even try to find it when it's right in front of him. He just whines until we come in. He is less and less interested in sleeping with me. If I am around he just wants to play. So naps are hit or miss. He has lately been taking a great morning nap- even in his own bed. Usually 8:30 to 10 or 10:30. And I think I need to keep him up later for the afternoon nap. He has been going down around 12:30 and only sleeping for a half hour.

He takes a 5-7oz bottle every 4 hours and eats breakfast lunch and dinner when we do. He likes mostly fruit, but will eat most things in the squeeze pouches. He LOVES table food and will eat anything you let him have. We mostly stick to soft stufflike bread or crackers.

He is SUCH a boy. He always wants to wrestle and is just rough all the time. He does everything with full physical force and no gentleness or finesse. I get head butted daily. I have had several fat lips and brushed cheek bones thanks to Henry. He has taken my teeth pretty hard to the forehead, and countless head bumps. And not due to clumsiness...he just slams himself around. He's miserable to hold, cause unless he's sleepy, he's squirming and fighting to see something or get out of your arms. He's relentless if he sees something he wants and will plow through anything to get to the baby monitor, cell phone, tv controls, plate of food, and especially any toy in Blakely's hands.

She can get him to laugh unlike anyone else, but Henry is a really joyful and happy guy most of the time. He's not shy, and he'll smile at anyone. He really doesn't have any separation anxiety and will let anyone hold him, but he does get his feelings hurt if I leave him in the room alone.

WHEW that was so long and I have so much more to update on! Easter, visit from Dedad and Bebe, spring play dates and Blakely but I'll save that for another post. ;)

Hospital.

Last Sunday sort of out of nowhere Henry threw up. We didn't think much of it, cause he didn't really act like he was feeling bad. Then later that night he threw up again but still wasn't acting bothered by it. Then he woke up in the middle of the night and had a fever of 103. He threw up again, and didn't sleep much. The next day he was extremely lethargic and had zero energy. He nursed ok, but did throw up a couple more times. He had a fever all day. I knew he felt terrible, but since he was nursing every 3 hours I wasn't too worried about him.

When Blakely was sick, even when she felt bad, you couldn't get her to quit playing, and she certainly wouldn't take a nap. At first I thought it was just difference in personality, but now I think he was just REALLY sick. He slept on and off for the entire day, and didn't whine or fuss much, but had no interest in playing. He would only be awake for 30 minutes max before wanting to go back to sleep. The next day he still had a fever, and he was not responding well to Tylenol, and he was not nursing. He also wouldn't drink pedialite, water, juice, anything. Around 4 on Monday he threw up again, and eventually we decided to take him to the ER. He was very dehydrated and they said he needed an iv. They tried to get one in both of his feet, neither worked, and finally got on in his hand. It was terrible.

He ended up going over 12 hours without nursing and had a fever of 104. So they admitted us to the hospital for the night. They got his fever under control and the fluids gave him a little more energy but he was still nauseous and he threw up again. Also, a 9 month old with an iv strapped to his hand is no fun at all. When he did have energy (which was not much) it was spent fighting me from keeping him from yanking on his iv. They tested everything- urine, stools, blood, flu test, and everything came back negative. They took him off the iv and we waited a few hours to make sure he did ok. He was still nursing ok, and his fever didn't spike, so we got to go home around 5 yesterday. He was so glad to be home. He actually started smiling and wanting to play. He got ahead of himself though and ended up getting pretty wiped out. You can't keep a 9 month old from playing though.

He slept great last night and even had some oatmeal and peaches for brunch, which he has kept down. He is still very easily tired, and gets nauseous after he eats, but he's a million times better. It was a terrible few days, and I hope none of my babies ever have to go to the hospital, and especially none of them get ivs again! I know it could have been way worse, and I am so thankful God took care of my babe.

Stephen was Mr. Mom, which of course Blakely loved. She looooves getting to play all day with her daddy. We also got a couple of college girls to take her to the park and to panera so Stephen could be at the hospital for a little while with us. Blakely thought she was something special getting to swing and slide with two pretty college girls! Today she is at a friends house so I can focus on Henry and Stephen can work. I miss my girl though!

We also made the realization that since the day Blakely was born, everyone in our family has been to the ER twice, EXCEPT Blakely. She's never been. That's 6 ER visits for the Billings in two years. A little ridiculous if you ask me.

Ok so here is some SERIOUS picture overload. Ranging from Sunday to today. Hankies last 5 days in picture form.

Fear of the unknown...

I think anytime you have a change in your future, and you also have kids, you can't help but be stressed and anxious. Time seems to stand still with the anticipation (both good and bad), but time also flies and makes us feel like there is not enough time to get what is needed done.

We are moving to Fayetteville this summer and it is already March. My mind has shifted to living in Arkansas, and I just want to get there and be settled. Problem is, we have NO idea where we are living. Apartment? Town home? Rent house? East fayetteville? West fayetteville? Springdale? Near campus? I also don't know what our needs will be. This summer Blakely and Henry will be sharing a room. Could be a disaster. Could be awesome. So we might be fine with a two bedroom for a short time, or a 3 bedroom might be a non negotiable. Another problem is we are slammed this spring. Fayetteville has changed so much since we lived there 4 years ago, so we need to be there to even get started on figuring this out. But unfortunately we have something nearly every weekend this spring, and we don't want to travel on the off weekends. We leave in the beginning of May for Kaleo, and will not be back until the end of July- at which point we will pack up and move to Fayetteville. Hopefully into some sort of residence suitable for a family of 4. :)

To say that I'm slightly stressed would be an understatement. I don't have to have everything figured out, but I would just like to know that we have somewhere to live.

So we are on the hunt for a rental of some kind. Friends who live in fayetteville, have lived there, are renting or have rented or know someone who has....please tell me where we should live!

Here's my criteria: must have washer/dryer. Must be kid friendly (no bodies of water nearby, no major roads in darting distance, etc). Must be reasonably priced. We want to rent temporarily- so we want to save as much as we can. However. It must also be nice. Help. Anyone.

9 months

Well Henry turned 9 months old. I am so behind that he's almost 10 months, but i figured I'd give him a 9 month post anyway. I am continually amazed at this stage at how different my children are. By now, Blakey was crawling, standing independently and cruising on furniture. Henry seems so far away from that. He scoots a little bit, but has no interest in standing (on his own) and can't hold himself up on anything. But I also know how quickly they can change at this stage, and he could be walking in a couple of weeks. (Though I highly doubt it.)

At his checkup he weighed 19lbs 5oz. Significantly more than Blakely at that age, but he has dropped to the 25%. He was 30 something in height.

We are a little concerned because he is still not really eating solids. He rarely eats any baby food. We are seeing an early intervention speech pathologist soon for an evaluation. I know he is ok, but he has really slowed down in growth and eating is a huge stressor for him and me, so we are trying to get it worked out.

He is still a very happy boy. He's so easy to get to smile or laugh. No matter his mood, a little attention makes him completely content. He is still pretty frustrated playing by himself since he can't move exactly where he wants.

He is wearing 9-12 month clothes and a few 18 month things as well. It is so confusing to me how he can only be 25% in weight but wear 18 month clothes.

Nursing has gotten a little better- much less fussing- but still very easily distracted. He is eating every 3 hours most days since he isn't eating solids. I still nurse him once or twice at night also. He always starts out in his bed and ends up in bed with me. He has actually started sleeping a little bit in his own real bed. I need to crack down and work on getting him to stay all night in there; it just hardly seems worth it at 3am.

He is talking up a storm and saying all kinds of sounds. Momentarily he is out of the raspberry phase and I am so thankful. I know it will be back shortly.

He loves bath time, especially when Blakely joins him. He is a BIG splasher. And Blakely HATES it. She always wants to take a bath with him, then shortly after is asking us to get him out so he'll quit splashing her.

He is very content in the car, and is a great travel buddy. We just got his new car seat in the mail. I couldn't loosen or tighten the straps on his infant carrier, so I figured it was time for the big boy seat. We will keep him rear facing at least until May though. I still occasionally bring him in places in his carrier, but he is just so heavy to lug around that I don't think I will miss it too badly.

I took him to my staff wives retreat a fee weekends ago and drove 4 hours by myself and he did awesome. We stayed in a hotel, and Henry and I both think that we need a king size bed. He was great considering we were away from home, and since he was the only baby there, he was welcomed to all our meetings by several ladies happy to hold him. Some how he slept through most of the talks and was only awake for a little bit of the discussion and down time. I also need to say how much I LOVED driving by myself. I normally hate to drive alone, but I can't remember having that much alone time and it. Was. Awesome. I didn't even listen to the radio much. I just listened to the sweet sound of silence. :)

I had a blast, and it was just what I needed. I stayed up until 2:45am Saturday night just chatting with friends, and despite the fact that I'm STILL tired, I don't regret it. I came back more thankful than ever for my husband, with practical goals of being a better wife and mom, and most importantly, a better follower of Christ.

Anyway, back to Henry. He's a little sweetheart. Loves to snuggle, loves to wrestle, loves to laugh, is terribly ticklish, and looks exactly like his dad- which is a good thing. :)

These days

Tomorrow marks one week of our media fast. I realy shouldn't call it a fast since we still watch tv....
Anyway, it has gone so well! We are really loving it. We need to crack down a whole lot more on Blakely and tv and the iPad. It is just SO hard. I think it would be a ton easier if I wasn't nursing. Henry is in a really annoying phase where I have to be laying down in a quiet room to get him to eat. I mean, what is that about? So putting B in front of the tv is my only option. If she barges in, (the only way she enters the room...) Henry's meal is over.

Anyway, she still has some attitude adjustments we need get going on, but Stephen and I are really liking it. We just feel like we aren't wasting time. I am sleeping better- probably cause I'm not on eBay for an hour before I try to go to sleep, and we are talking more. We talked before, but also sat around perusing jcrew and espn. Nothing wrong with that, but we are thoroughly enjoying our kidless time just talking on the couch.

Don't get me wrong- it's hard. I can't tell you how many times a day i pick up my phone wanting to check Instagram or Instagram a super cute picture of my babes. Or google something real quick, or hop on eBay to see if I can find my kids some cute spring clothes....but it's good for me. So instead I hop on my Esther bible study that I need to do anyway, or pick up the book I started a year and a half ago but still haven't fished. ("Can't wait to get to heaven" by Fannie Flagg) I highly recommend her books. "Fried green tomatoes" is an incredible book, and "daisy fay and the miracle man" is probably my favorite fiction book ever. It's HILARIOUS.

So we have been having lots of fun. Play dates. Going swimming- both kids LOVE. There is an awesome indoor aquatic center here in town with a great kid area. Blakely loves and hates the water. She is scared of getting splashed in the face, so if its crowded she's stressed, but she is not afraid enough of the water. She'll just walk right up to the edge of the pool, and obviously I didn't give her a chance to find out, but it seemed like she would have jumped right in. Henry ate it up. He loves to splash and he's too young to be afraid so he is fun. He also has no qualms with water in the face, so that's great.

He is still not officially crawling, but sometimes I'll discover him on the other side of the room and who knows how he got there. I will save the detailed update on him till after tomorrow's 9month checkup.

Blakely is having a heyday with imaginative play and has started pretending things with herself. She gets in the laundry basket and pretends to drive to the store, then shops out of the laundry basket (which holds toys) then gets her money out of her purse to pay. Then she takes it home and cooks with it. She puts all of her babies to bed, sometimes even puts them in her room and closes the door, and actually remembers them later in the day and gets them up from their nap.

Her grammar is incredible. Mainly just her ability to form complex sentences on her own. At least once or twice a day she says something to us that just doesn't feel like a 2 year old should be able to say. For instance, Sunday after church she went to Stephen and said "I forgot something daddy! I forgot my drawing at church. We need to go back and get it." I'm not exaggerating. Is she 2 or 14?! I asked her today what her favorite part of the day was and she said "probably playing with Hankie." Probably? How does she know how to use "probably"!?

We have started asking her what her "happy" for the day was at dinner. It's the sweetest thing. Is usually playing with Henry, occasionally playing with me or Stephen. But I think she really gets it. She will also ask us and our guests what their happy for the day was.

And just so you know she's not all sweet, I came in today to her holding Henry's head- face down on the floor with all her body weight. Somehow he wasn't crying. Needless to say, she went straight to timeout and got a very stern first and only warning against doing anything like that. Real life.

Blakely and Stephen are having a daddy daughter weekend while me and Henry head to the stumo wives retreat Friday Saturday and Sunday. I am excited about it, and I know Stephen and Blakely are going to have a fun weekend. She prefers him right now anyway, so I doubt I'll even be missed. (Maybe a little by Stephen...) :)

We are suppose to get a big snow storm so our weekend plans may end up going out the window if the roads get bad.

On to the best part:

Lent

Well, believe it or not (I am having a hard time...) today is FAT Tuesday!  I grew up southern Baptist so I never even knew about "lent" until I got to college and learned about it from friends.  Over the years, I have occasionally given things up- facebook, chocolate (with selfish hopes of dropping a few...) and a few worthwile "additions" instead of subtractions (read my bible EVERY DAY no matter what...)

Last fall Stephen and I got our first iphones.  This Christmas we got an ipad mini for the family.  To say that our media intake (as a family) has skyrocketed since the iphone entered our world would be an understatement.  I have fairly recently started a small side business of buying/selling clothing and accessories via ebay, and between that and my love for my "mini" I am online alllll the time.  I have been convicted on multiple occasions that I need to put the devices down and FOCUS on my kids, and I do, but then I slowly drift back into checking instagram, ebay, and the like.  I don't beat myself up too much- I know I am a good mom, but could always stand improvement.  I give my kids lots of attention, but as I have seen Blakely's addiction to media grow- it has FREAKED me out.  This TWO YEAR OLD on an ipad is entirely too savvy, and frankly Stephen and I are not fans of the attitude it seems to bring out in her.  For whatever reason, after a short time playing on it she turns into somewhat of a grouch- whining and demanding she get her way.  Thus, our lent experiment.

I have been considering giving some (or all) of media up for some time, but haven't had the motivation to really sit down and think it through and set my parameters (not to mention, I know it will be HARD).  I mentioned doing something as a family to Stephen and he was immediately on board. So here's what we are doing:

No internet- period.  For me at least.  Stephen will have to use the internet for talks and work and such- but he isn't even going to check espn, or his worldnews websites.  I will check my email- but the most time tempting email I get is jcrew- which I will not be clicking on...  I have a few events before Easter that I need to stay in touch about- so that's why I'm still checking my email. 

Our phones will only be used to COMMUNICATE with people.  Neither of us are obsessive texters, so we will text our people and use our phones to make phone calls- what they were originally invented for.  :)  (of course in the event of an emergency, I am free to use my phone to figure out where I am, where something I need is, etc.)

NO ipad for me.  I am not allowed to use the ipad for anything except maybe to turn on pandora so I can listen to some music.  Same for Stephen.  Blakely can use it for her puzzles and games and a movie, but we are working on her very specific guidelines today.  We are going to set a time limit on her use, and maybe set up a reward system of some kind so she gets that it is a priviledge to use it. 

TV:  Stephen and I LOVE to watch tv together.  We don't see this as a big issue, except that often times we just sit in front of the tv and watch whatever is on.  So we are picking our shows- that we watch TOGETHER, and thats it.  No late night junk, CSI, american idol business just cause nothing else is on.  Would you like to hear our show list?  We think they are great.  Disclaimer: This probably will still sound like a LOT of TV to you...but I assure you, I am cutting back.  Stephen is gone most evenings for work, so I am always watching TV after the kids go to bed.  I also can watch anything with a plot (even a sub-par one...) Sundays: the Mentalist, Mondays: Castle, Tuesdays- NO TV!, Wednesdays: Meet the Neighbors (this show is hilarious, if you haven't seen it.) Thursday: Person of interest and Elementary, Friday: DATELINE- (laugh if you want, but we LOVE our Friday night DATEline.  :))  Saturdays: NO TV!

Blakely can watch two shows on the computer when she gets up while she eats breakfast, Sesame Street at 9, and one show around 3:30/4.  We are not going to be hard nosed with her, cause sometimes I need to occupy her with something while I am getting Henry to sleep or nursing him.  Although we are not going to be super strict with her, we would like to cut her TV intake back drastically. 

This means no ebay for me, no facebook, no reading blogs.  I am going to try to blog myself during this time, because I know it is going to be great for our family and I want to document!  Plus, I know my family enjoys reading it.  Oh- that reminds me.  I will still be taking pictures with my phone.  :) I probably need to get out (and dust off...) that nice camera that we had to buy to document Blakely's life.  :)

I am really hoping this accomplishes a few things:  #1 more time in the word, individually and as a family.  I know I always need to read my bible and study it more, memorize more scripture, read more Christian literature, etc.  #2 More quality family time.  I want to get more creative in how we spend time together.  More crafts, more outings, more creative playing, etc.  #3 More productivity.  MAYBE I'll have a cleaner house, cook more meals, become more organized.  Or maybe less so on all of those because I'll be too busy having fun with my family (which will be equally productive.)

Whew!  Ok, I'm done.  Now here are some pictures for sticking with it for that whole post.  :)

me and dad!

date night

don't get excited.  She eats the "leaves" and discards the "trunk"

"you go through tunnel, mommy!"

stinker

NYE

JANUARY wagon walk to the park. B insisted she pull Hankie.

Henry's first time swinging.  Not sure if he liked it or not...

Me and the babes.

"hiking."

Terrible weekend...

Well, I don't mean to whine, but I wanted to document our weekend from you know where.

Henry has been fussing a ton lately with nursing. He is COMPLETELY uninterested in food- no matter what it is. And then over the last few weeks he cries when I try to nurse him, fights me, then when he does finally nurse it's only for a few minutes and he seems like he's still hungry. So we talked about it for a while and eventually decided we were going to switch him to formula. We felt like we could at least know how much he was eating. I had so many issues nursing Blakely and I hated it cause she fought me all the time, so I really didn't want to drag it out if he was going to fight me like she did. It's just too exhausting.

So we started last Friday- he wouldn't nurse around lunch anyway, so I just decided to go ahead and get started. Long story short, by FORCING him, we got him to take a couple of small bottles of breast milk and formula mixed. Lots of tears and screaming though. Then the next morning he took a bottle a little sooner. We thought we were on our way up, but instead, he pretty much didn't eat anything else for the rest of the day. He was just sad- not even mad, sad. Tears, whimpering. Crying every time he would even SEE a bottle. I knew he was starving. He was also ASKING to nurse. Talk about a guilt trip. He'd cry and reach for me, and pull at my shirt. Never in my life did Blakely do that. When we switched her, she literally would not nurse. So around 6:30pm I caved. Stephen was a little perturbed when he walked into me nursing Henry on the couch...but I just couldn't take it anymore. Of course he ate his little heart out. So we went 36 hours without nursing. And I'm sure it hurt my supply, but I decided I can't quit yet. So I am waiting longer between feeding- to make sure he is really hungry, and I'm pumping after he eats to hopefully build my supply up. We are going to take him for a weight check tomorrow just to make sure he is gaining weight.

He was definitely happy he won that battle and was INSANELY cuddly with me all day. He's a little manipulator! :) he knows how to get me. We may have just put off the inevitable if he doesn't start nursing better. It would sure stink if we had to go through another day like this though. I am praying that he is just in a weird phase and that he naturally weens himself at a year (ha!).

So anyway, Stephen and I spent all of Saturday at our wits end, about to pull our hair out, and then we spent today trying to get back to normal. Blakely felt the negative effects of the weekend too. I think she was stressed that we were stressed and was not too excited about how much attention we were giving Henry, so she was pretty disobedient all weekend. She has also been mad at me, and giving me the cold shoulder- I think because I focused on Henry the whole weekend and didn't show her much attention. Hopefully she will forgive me when I take her to McDonald's play place tomorrow. :)