The "C" word.

Colic.  Ew.  That dreaded word that all new parents fear.  We were in denial about it for quite a while, but now we are just facing the music.  Blakely has colic.  Granted, not as bad as a lot of babies.  She does have some happy time.  But judging by the way this girl acts, her life stinks right now.  She's just not that happy to be here, she'd prefer to go back into my belly, and she'd like everyone to know about it.   Right now I am battling two very painful mouth sores- stress induced.  I love this girl, and when she is happy, there is nothing more fun than playing the face game with her, watching her look around at everything, listening to her noises, etc.  We are those googly parents that think everything she does is just adorable.  Stephen has gone into total dad mode.  He gets out the camera for just about everything, bath time, play time...diaper change.  Kidding.  But sometimes diaper changes are the most entertaining thing we do.  Yesterday this girl pooped with such force that if I hadn't held her diaper up just in time I am positive it would have shot straight across the hall into our bedroom.  Stephen said "Where's the camera when you need it.."  We have been watching a lot of America's Funniest Home Videos.  I frequently think, after she does something, that we could totally win $10,000 if we could just video tape everything she does.  She is way funnier than all these people's silly pets. 

BUT.  She cries and is fussy all. the. time.  I know it is hard to believe when you look at this picture, but it's true.  And could someone please teach this girl how to keep the paci in her mouth?  I even googled whether it was normal for her to be completely incapable of keeping it in her mouth for any length of time.  It's normal.  The only thing that calms her down 90% of the time is Stephen doing lunges with her down the hall.  I do it occasionally, but his glutes were much more prepared for parenthood than mine.  I remember back in the good old days when we could barely keep her awake.  We put her to sleep in her crib, had to wake her up to eat, and she rarely cried.  Those days are long gone (a month gone...).  These are the days of crying in her sleep, only sleeping for 45 minutes at a time, eating every 2 hours, and having gas like she's on an all bean diet instead of milk.  Seriously.  This girl could make even the most crude person blush with her toots.  This could be related to her colic, but who really knows.  Babies need that machine that the gorillas get that speaks for them.  If only she could just tell me what she wants...I'd gladly do WHATEVER it is. 

But these are the things we bargain for when we become parents, whether we knew it or not.  No one tells you that 8-12 diaper changes a day is the AVERAGE...that means some days it will be 20.  (yes, we have changed 20 in a day...)  Who is the lucky parent of the kid bringing DOWN that average?   Maybe my child is a messy eater...but we also go through 20 burp rags a day.  I got in bed last night and Stephen told me I smelled like milk.  I had even just showered.  Very attractive.  In the time it took me to type the last 3 sentences I have put her pacifier back in about 10 times.  I was committed to helping her form good sleep habits.  Falling asleep on her own, in her crib and staying in there until the end of naptime.  HA!  I thought I was so good those first couple of weeks.  Little did I know it had nothing to do with me...she couldn't help but sleep in her crib for 3 hours.  Now we just decide which bad habit we will continue to reinforce.  Will we let her fall asleep in our arms, on our chest or in her swing?  Actually, we let her decide.  Awake an hour early?  No problem, just get in our bed.  A friend admitted that she tried to help her daughter find her thumb so she could just suck on that instead of having to get up to give her the pacifier.  GENIUS.  I tried it immediately. 

It's a good thing God makes us wait 9 months (8 for me..) to have our babies.  He makes us REALLY want it.  Most of us really want it long before that, but just to make sure we are good and desperate, he adds on another 9 months.  It is a nice reminder in times of frustration to think back to how badly I wanted her to be here when I was pregnant.  It's also good that I didn't know this was how it would be.  Had I known my days would be filled with attempting to calm a crying baby for most of the day, motherhood might not have sounded so fun.  But that's just it.  It IS fun.  It is so worth it.  And I'm glad that I get to attempt to calm this crying baby.  She's perfect.