Swim time, And sleep problems

Blakely loves the water.  Bath time is a hit these days- now that we are in the big kid tub.  She squeals and splashes (until she gets water in her eye, and then the fun is over.)  She also loves swimming in the pool.  I try to go every day since it usually means she will sleep better.  I am considering going before every nap and before bed too...

As I type this post, I am listening to her cry.  I am at a complete loss of what to do about her sleeping.  For every good day, she has three bad days.  I have read 3 books on babies sleep needs, who knows how many articles I have found on the internet, blogs, and tried (what I feel like...) is anything and everything.  Her door is closed, my door is closed, the dish washer is going, the tv is on, the monitor is off, and I can still hear her.  I have gone in several times, and she will calm down if I hold her, but won't go to sleep.  I have tried putting her to bed earlier- yep, 5:30 one night... (per one of my books suggestions...) She woke up at 4 ready for the day.  I have put her to bed later....she woke up at 5am.  (I guess that's better than 4, right?) Lately I have just been letting her get up for the day at 6, despite the pain it causes me to be up at 6am.  At least it's light outside. 

And I can't get her to nap.  She is so bizarre.  She is awake and will not go back to sleep after 6am- most days.  But then she is getting tired by 7am.  So I usually put her down for a nap.  She sleeps anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours.  Usually closer to 20 minutes.  Then she is usually tired within an hour after she wakes up.  That's her cycle.  That means she would be taking like 8 naps a day.  I have even tried letting her do that.  She just ends up tired and fussy all day long cause she never gets good sleep.  I have tried keeping her awake until her "optimum nap times.."  (9am and 1pm-according to one book)  She is cranky until 9, then doesn't sleep long enough, so she can't make it until 1.  It just won't work.  I let her cry sometimes...but I can only take that for so long.  She isn't a quiet fussy cryer.  She is a screamer, sounds like she's going hoarse, hiccuping on her spit cause she's crying so hard, laying in a puddle of her tears type of cryer.  It's pitiful and heartbreaking.  I have tried just not worrying about it, but I keep going back to the fact that she is constantly overtired.  And one thing all the books tell me is that it won't just go away on it's own.  Though I pray regularly that it will...

Maybe I am not consistent enough?  I have yet to really let her cry it out, for several days.  I just can't- so far.  That doesn't mean it won't come to that- and I certainly don't judge any mom who does that.  I also wonder what role her binky plays in this horrible sleep problem.  I have considered just taking it away cold turkey and forcing her to learn to fall asleep without it.  But it seems cruel since the reason she is addicted to it is cause I gave it to her in the first place. 

Another perplexing thing about her sleep issues is once she is asleep for the night (knock on wood...) she stays asleep until morning (with the exception of her occasionally early morning wakeup call.)  She will sometimes wake up and put herself back to sleep, but for the most part, we don't hear from her til 6am.  She also will, on multiple occasions, put herself to sleep during the day.  I guess my timing is perfect on these occasions or there is a full moon, or someone slipped her an ambien, cause I'll just lay her down in her crib wide awake and she falls asleep on her own.  Then other times, like tonight, it has taken her an hour and a half to fall asleep, and I'm not convinced she is asleep yet anyway. I have studied other mom blogs, read about typical schedules for 6 month old babies, and attempted to follow many different schedules, but it never works. 

It even causes me anxiety when I think about our near future.  What will we do at Stephen's parents?  Where can I buy a black out curtain...or twelve?  We can't plan on going anywhere or doing anything cause we never know when she will need to take a nap.  What about my parent's house?  They have wood floors, a small house, and my dad is loud (sorry, Dad.)  What if she doesn't nap at all?  Are people going to judge me when I won't go do something because she needs to take a nap?  What if they wake her up?  Will I have a meltdown?  You get the picture.  The worst is when people try to downplay it like it's not that big of a deal.  Well, you try spending all day, alone, with a (very fun...) hyper, sensitive, emotional, energetic, ticking timebomb of a 6 month old, with no guaranteed breaks during the day.  It'll make you feel like you might get knocked off your rocker...

Sorry for my little sleep tangent....And I know, judging by how cute she is, you could never believe this sweet little girl could cause so much trouble.  Feel free to think that all you want, but please don't say that out loud.  I might end up in jail.