#momproblems

I'm getting on a soapbox.

In motherhood, the problems-issues-obstacles-whatever you want to call them are endless. (at least so far for the first year and a few months...) there is pretty much never more than a day or two that there isn't something to overcome. Nursing, teething, eating, sleeping, whining, obedience, etc. No mom is exempt from all trials in motherhood- though some might be lucky enough to get an incredible sleeper, or a baby who nurses smoothly from the get go until mom is ready to ween.

But let's be clear for the moms encountering those issues- it is just that-lucky. Sure, there are things you can do as a parent to increase the likelihood that your baby does (or doesn't) do those things the way you want them to, but also, you can do everything "perfectly" and just have a bad sleeper, or eater, or whatever. AND even if it happens to be moms FAULT that the child has this issue or that, most of us (moms) are just doing the best we know how with the little person that God has given us.

And they are that- people. With thoughts and opinions (at least mine sure has them!) and personalities. You can see glimpses of the uniqueness that God placed in our babies from the first kicks we feel in our bellies and the first ultrasound where we see them squirming. They don't come with instruction manuals for that reason. Each mom is different, and each baby is even more different. No matter what people say- there are no hard and fast rules. Blakely has managed to teach me at least that.

All this to say- sometimes (ALL of the time) moms just want to hear that they are doing a good job. Not advice on how you would have done it- cause be honest- you don't know how you would have done it. You never had and never will have MY baby. You never had and never will have MY life. So to think and especially to say how you would have done it differently is just arrogant and plain rude. Of course there are times that moms ask for advice. And by all means, share your opinion if you think it will benefit. Please give your advice carefully and gently. Do your best not to make mom feel bad, cause after all, SHE is the one suffering through the sleeplessness, fussiness, and/or disobedience. But also consider the possibility that asking for your advice is also just another way that she wants to hear you say she is doing a good job as a mom.

If you are one of those moms blessed with a good sleeper or eater, then be thankful. Sure, pat yourself on the back for the hard work that you might have put in to get your baby to where he is, but do it silently. And offer sympathy instead of advice. And give her encouragement instead of judgement. Some of us HAVE worked hard, read the books, tried the tricks- and hopefully we can all admit that we haven't done it perfectly, but sometimes it doesn't matter. Sometimes the baby just. won't. sleep. Or eat, or stop whining. Who knows why? Not the mom, and certainly not you either.

This is all coming after B getting up at 4am today, crying for 2 hours when I finally gave in and got her up, nap at 7:30 where she slept for less than an hour. She has gotten up at 5am for the last month, cries for a minimum of 20 sometimes more than an hour before falling asleep at night, has been MEGA whiney for the last week or so unless perfectly entertained, eats OCCASIONALLY, and usually only bananas or yogurt, and is the queen o tantrums.

I let her cry- every time? No, cause I have a heart. I let her go hungry when she refuses to eat what I made- every time? No, cause I want her to grow. I ignore her whines- every time? No, cause I don't want to go to jail.

I'm just doing the best I know how with the little person God gave me. And you know what moms? You are doing a great job too.